Relationships According to Harry & Sally

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?… Just friends.

Sally Albright: I thought you didn’t believe men and women could be friends.

Harry Burns: When did I say that?

Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.

Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that… Yes, that’s right, they can’t be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can…

This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted… That doesn’t work either, because what happens then is, the person you’re involved with can’t understand why you need to be friends with the person you’re just friends with.

Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say “No, no, no it’s not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,” the person you’re involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you’re just friends with, which you probably are.

I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let’s face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can’t be friends.

Quotes from the 1989 movie, “When Harry Met Sally”

(screenshot from the movie where Meg Ryan fakes her orgasm at a diner)

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I love this movie. Every New Year’s Eve in our old house along Nancy St., my sisters and I sit in front of the TV, glued to RPN 9 as they played this yearly tradition. It has all the ingredients of a wonderful movie about love and relationships – it’s set in New York, it has great conversations, jazz music in the background, and happy endings. It explores “the rules” in dating and love, and then pulls the rug from under you.

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In the past weeks, we’ve been having discussions in the office on how men and women think when it comes to relationships. It’s quite interesting really, because there are insights that I have learned from my friends. Some points I find valid, others absurd. Sometimes, I wish I can give advice…but I don’t know, it depends on the context or the situation.

I even asked my older sister her opinion on how guys should act around girls they want to date. Here is great advice, “Quit the stylistics.” No need for trying to be someone you’re not. Women are all for guys who are comfortable being themselves. Self-awareness is sexy.

So, if you really really like someone, just go for it! And maybe it’s fine to ask friends from time to time if you’re doing OK – and not making a complete fool of yourself ofcourse.