Poems and Songs

Collecting poems along the way…

And sharing a beautiful song by Billy Bragg, from his album “Mr. Love and Justice”.

I Keep Faith

If you want to make the weather
Then you have to take the blame
If sometimes dark clouds fill the sky
And it starts to rain, and folks complain
And though your head may tell you
To run and hide
Listen to your heart, and you’ll find me
Right by your side
Because…

I keep faith, I keep faith
I keep faith, I keep faith in you
Yes I do, I keep faith in you

If you think you have the answer
Don’t be surprised
If what you say is met with anger
And contempt and lies
No matter how hard you want to
Just walk away
Reach out you’ll find me there beside you
All of the way
Because…

I keep faith, I keep faith
I keep faith, I keep faith in you
Yes I do, I keep faith in you

All the dreams we shared
I never knew no one who cared
About these things the way that I’ve seen in you
It doesn’t matter if
This all falls off the cliff
Together we are gonna see it through

I know it takes a mess of courage
To go against the grain
You have to make great sacrifice for such little gain
And so much pain
And if your plans come to nothing
Washed out in the rain
Let me rekindle all your hopes
And help you start again
Because….

I keep faith, I keep faith
I keep faith, I keep faith in you
Yes I do, I keep faith in you

Untitled

(Interior) Tolentino Hall, UP Fine Arts Diliman. January 2009.

Early January of this year, I dropped by the College of Fine Arts to have my canvas prepared for an exhibit. Sprawled around the college grounds beside the Painting classrooms, were the huge colorful constructions that were paraded at last month’s Lantern Parade. Some maintenance guys that I knew  were dismantling them, breaking their wooden bones.

At that time of the year, the students haven’t returned from their Christmas break, and so the atmosphere at the college was quite and empty. Too quite and empty, memories rushed in to make some noise. I had one of the best times in this place.

***

Every time summer comes, I get nervous. In April, the College of Fine Arts begins its drawing workshops. And most of the time, I’m pretty sure the people enrolled there will be taking the Talent Test.  In 1999, I took that same workshop and most of us, well except 2 or 3 in a class of 20 or more, were going to take that test. I had a wonderful teacher and it was she who taught me how to draw better. I didn’t pass the UPCAT, so this was my lifeline to the college of my dreams. I swear, it was UP Fine Arts or out of school youth.

Well, I didn’t pass on my first try, which really really sucked. I think I made my parents really nervous when I didn’t want to go to another university because I felt that the shortest way of getting into FA was to just focus on my drawings. So we made a deal, if I don’t pass it the second time, I move on and enroll at the university that accepted me.

To keep me busy for a year, I did some independent studying – the most fun that I could think of. I bought a thick history book, National Geographic magazines, and read the newspapers everyday. I took another drawing class to refine what I learned. I also got myself a book that taught me the value of writing daily and showing up on the blank page for morning pages, and having artist dates with myself in galleries and coffee shops.

Although I had fun, it was also very lonely. I was at home most of the time with my older sister, mostly keeping to ourselves as we worked on our own stories or drawings. Sometimes, I didn’t feel like doing anything and just lie in bed all day. Merienda time, we’d take a break and hangout together to talk about what we’ve done, our concepts, our ideas, this and that guy, showbiz chismis, and a lot of other interesting topics.

At an exhibit in Glorietta, I met an artist who asked me what I wanted to pursue. I said I liked writing and painting, but that I really wanted to paint. He gave me the worst advice ever, “Why don’t you become a writer? There are already so many painters. We need people to write about art.” And then hands me a postcard invite to one of his exhibits. I couldn’t believe he said that. The world will never have enough of painters – or whatever kind of artist they want to be: musicians, directors, etc.

When April rolled in the next year, I took the Talent Test again and got accepted. For days, I slept with a smile on my face.  I know not everyone who wanted to be in that year passed. I’ve seen a lot of them cry when they didn’t see their names on that list. I hope they try again, and again if they have to.

When I finally met my classmates (some of them became my greatest friends), I learned that some of us shared the same stories. For us, there was no other way to live but to pursue our bliss.

When I’m Thinking of You

Over the rooftops a plane in the sky
Beat of a bass drum cars passing me by
Under a bridge dark then back into light
A river of raincoats and a forest of faces
Still for a moment then red into green
Slow shuffling shoes whisper sight unseen
Row upon row of houses return an empty stare
Let the daydream for a little while longer

Ah.. yeah…
Hope I’ll never wake
When I’m thinking about you
(yeah) hope I’ll never wake
Cos now Im thinking about you

Two-minute hailstorm then melts into rain
(oh) sing me a rainbow its sunny again
Swallows overhead while the traffic snarls below
Could I (could I) keep dreaming for a little while longer

Hope I’ll never wake
When I’m thinking about you
So that you know – I never want to wake
Cos now Im thinking about you

When you’re searching your soul
When you’re searching for pleasure
How often, pain is all you find
But when you’re coasting along and nobody’s trying too hard
You can turn around and like where you are

(yeah and) I hope I never wake
When I’m thinking about you
And I close my eyes (dear)
Now I’ll never never wake

The Sundays

***

I’m very much looking forward to this weekend trip to Baguio…just to fill a desperate need for a change of scenery from Katipunan’s all too familiar outlines to enjoy the weather and great food from a happy place called Baguio.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written here. By the way, the show was great! Just having family and friends there was enough, plus they liked our stuff and really enjoyed themselves in the vibe of Cubao X.

To all who came, ARIGATO! You really made my day!

Our Lives in Cantos

Images: A study with charcoal and watercolor; Final work with pen and watercolor

Looking forward to Friday’s exhibit and still very nervous. This is how I describe my feelings towards showing my work: I feel naked and I haven’t done that workout yet. Or I could just change the way I feel about it by thinking that this could be my first weigh in, and see how I improve from here. I’m just so thankful that I got the chance to do this.

And if you missed our press release from last Monday’s Inquirer Arts and Books section (pageC3), here’s the full and unedited text:

Three Artists Explore Their Lives in Cantos

Our lives are marked by chapters. Inspired by the great Italian poet Dante Alighieri, three young artists lift verses from one of his greatest works, The Divine Comedy, and from it weave their own stories. In the poem, Dante casts himself as a pilgrim on a journey through the consuming fires of Hell, the steep mountain of Purgatory, and the lush gardens of Heaven. In the group exhibit of Nikki Abaya, Dang Sering, and Mimi Tecson, works from their own journeys will be shown on March 20, 7 p.m., at White Box Gallery, Cubao X, Quezon City.

Upon seeing Beatrice Portinari, it was love at first sight for Alighieri. To represent his great love, Nikki Abaya cloaks herself in the perfume of Beatrice. Abaya’s portraits in oil conjure images of this magical woman, the source of the poet’s joy and pain, which spurred him to write the beautiful verses of La Vita Nuova, a collection of love poems.  The Divine Comedy may have helped him come to terms with his life and, eventually, lay a path to find his great love. His death one evening in September 1321 allowed him to join Beatrice in Paradise.

Dang Sering’s work touches on the fires of Hell – the fires that consume and conceal. Her works present Hell as a place of concealment, the opposite of Heaven as revelation. Her illustrations serve as symbolic preludes that may have eventually led to her wandering into the dark wood. The graphic fires are Hell closing in, suppressing us from seeing the whole picture and our innate goodness, serving only a narrow vision of ourselves.

Mimi Tecson’s work takes off from the middle of the tale. With the map of her life before her, Tecson relies on memory as she lays the cornerstones that mark all her 27 years. In her works, Heaven represents the happiest moments of her life, while Hell brings out the saddest times. In her boxes populated with small plastic found objects, she reconstructs a life of consequences. Her work serves as an overview of decisions made, circumstances accepted, and the possibilities for adventure.

“Cantos”, in Italian, means “songs”.  With still so much to discover, these young artists are, hopefully, learning how to move to their own music.

***

Please come! There’s art, food, and friends. Oh yeah, there’s beer too.:)

Exhibit Coming Up!

This 3 by 4 ft. canvas is blank no more!

Since late December of last year, I’ve been working on concepts, verses, sketches, and studies for my upcoming group exhibit. I’m so glad to be finally putting out work in a gallery (or on public, gasp!)…something I haven’t done in a long time since I graduated in 2004.

I’ve been wanting to do an exhibit for a long time now, but didn’t know exactly what to paint about. I felt like I just didn’t paint whatever for all the world to see. These art experiments are done for my own personal curiosity.

There have been a lot of experiences and issues that I’ve tried to grapple with in my own life. And as I was on my way out of  internal turmoil (this I failed to see because I was in it) and trying to make sense of things,  serendipity makes a visit. A friend asked me to join a group exhibit – and I’ve been invited many times before, but felt I wasn’t ready – but somehow, I agreed and have been full of excitement. When she pitched her concept for the exhibit, the idea just completely resonated with me.

In our exhibit, our works take inspiration from Dante Aleghieri’s Divina Commedia (The Divine Comedy). In this Italian epic poem, written between 1308 and 11321, Dante (the poet as pilgrim) explores the Christian afterlife in Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. What is interesting about this work is how the writer plays himself, the protagonist of his own verses.

What we take from this epic poem are the verses that resonate in our own lives and how it inspires our own journey.

Summer

It’s as if someone suddenly turned off the airconditioner. The days are now hot, it might as well be Summer already. I miss the chill weather of early January. Sad, I just bought new jackets and now I’m tucking them away.

And there are a lot of things that need I to do for March! I have to sketch and finish my works soon. It’s exciting and at the same time making me really nervous. Wow, finally, one of my dreams is coming true! Yey!

I’ve encountered the poetry of Mary Oliver in some magazines. I’ve copied some of them into my inspiration notebook. But here’s one that I missed and just found it on someone’s blog. I like so much, it’s for sharing.

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

*

I say — just go for what you want.

Eight and Twenty

Turned 28 years old last week, woo-hoo! Exciting, but had to endure the teasing that came from my family: “Tanda mo na!” “Magpakasal ka na!” “Grabe Dang…”

Oh shush! Anyhoo…

I’m so grateful for the things that have come my way, for amazing friendships, opportunities that come knocking twice (exhibit!), a-ha moments in self-discovery, fun trips and adventures ahead, love that continues to grow and mature, and the gift of laughter. Sometimes I am such a serious girl, I’m glad can just let loose from time to time.

And hey, I curled my hair! I really wanted to color it red or something far from dark brown…but I guess I wasn’t ready for it yet. What I like most about my curly/magulo hair is that I don’t need to brush it! It’s supposed to be big and magulo. Hooray!

And now, words from the wise, my favorite poet Rumi. Here’s a gift to fellow artists!

We must become ignorant
Of all we’ve been taught,
And be, instead, bewildered.

Run from what’s profitable and comfortable
If you drink those liqueurs, you’ll spill
The spring waters of your real life.

Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.

I have tried prudent planning
Long enough, from now
On, I’ll live mad.

Hello World!

And we sail on to 2009!

I’m really looking forward to this year. I’ve got lots and lots of plans, ofcourse. Looking forward to more adventures, travels, lots of art and love!

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” Omar Khayyam

I hope all your dreams come true.